Bandajuma’s Main
Attraction
First,
I would like to address the thought that I know came across all of your minds
who have been waiting for my next blog post…for over a year now, which is “well
it’s about time.” My only reply back is I know I know and I’m sorry! To say
that trying to document on a regular basis with limited access to internet is
overwhelming would be a huge understatement. My dear mother can testify to this
statement after only being here for a two-week visit. She came here with the
full intent on journaling her experience, writing each day’s festivities every
night. I believe at the end of her visit she had maybe the first three days
down and nothing more. If you are too tired one night and then get a full day
behind, trying to sum up the absurdities and craziness each day brings becomes quickly
overwhelming and one tends to cave in to the excuse of just giving up on the
updates - to which I am guilty as charged. So again I am sorry for the
year-long lack of posts!
I know
that all of you are anxiously awaiting my arrival, maybe already even have
signs and whatnot prepared and ready to hold upon driving up to the infamous
McMahon mansion, but there is something I would like to warn all of you about –
I may be a little weird. Yes, this may come as a little shock to all of you, Brooke
McMahon the most well-rounded, level-headed, some even say perfect human specimen,
weird? Yes, you’re all thinking well, living in an underdeveloped country in a
village with no running water or electricity, yeah, one may become a little
odd. Surprisingly, it is none of those contributing factors that have led to my
self-proclaimed weirdness. If you look back to the above title of this blog,
you may think I am referring to myself as Bandajuma’s main attraction and I
know exactly why. You would think that I would be referring to myself, the only
white person for a 7-mile radius in a rural African village, that I would be
the main attraction – and okay, yes, for Sierra Leoneans, I probably am. But
for my fellow PCVs (including Clarke Hinds who came WHILE I was in America to
visit) and others who have been fortunate enough to experience this amazing
human being’s presence, the main attraction of Bandajuma is none other than my
63-year old retired Sierra Leone police officer best friend, Ibrahim Mohamed
Kamara, aka Pa Kamara.
Although
this measly little blog post cannot make up all of the experiences, activities,
and stories I failed to update you on throughout this past year with my lack of
blog posts, I feel that cluing you in on easily one of the most significant
parts of my service, my friendship with Pa Kamara, will give you more of an
insight to my life over here. And will also explain my self-proclaimed
weirdness. I got the idea from a well-known author Justin Halpern of “Sh*t My
Dad Says” to document all of the amazingly absurd things that come out of this
man’s mouth of a daily basis. My only regret in doing this was that I started
too late. I believe around March was when I got the idea and sense to write these
quotes down, meaning I missed a full 19 months of precious entertainment
material. I am now going to post the few gems that I do have in the order in
which he said them.
-
Pa telling me that his nephew’s wife died at a young age:
Me: “ Aw Pa, how did she die?”
Pa:
“I don’t know it’s God. God can kill you at any time.”
-
Whenever I complain to Pa about issues such as teachers sleeping with students,
stealing anything as well as odd
things I see, these are the three quotes I get as my response from him:
“This is Africa”
“
That is African Culture”
“ Mus, you are now in Africa”
“Don’t depend on human
beings, it is only God who will not deceive you”
“You know what life wants the most? Music.”
Pa
and I walking in the Bush one day to a palm tree plantation:
Me:
“Pa, are you taking me in here to kill me?”
Pa:
“Eh Mus, I am a good citizen, that’s why I’m not rich”
Pa:
“Mus, will you carry me to America?”
Me:
“Sure Pa, I’ll put you in my bag”
Pa:
“Eh, but Mus, where will I shit?”
“I don’t love to love ugly women”
“When you are beautiful, I will love to have
you around me. If you are ugly then I will not sit by you”
“There are three things a man needs to live
100 more years: beautiful women, rum, and music.”
Me: “Pa, what if a woman is kind and nice, but
is ugly?”
Pa: “Me, I will not be happy”
“Mus, you are beautiful and educated, but men
are not coming your way. Why?” (He says this to
me on a weekly basis)
“Mus, I am handsome and educated, but women
are not coming my way. Why?” (He also says this
to me on a weekly basis, even though he has a wife and several girlfriends…)
“Don’t
depend on what an African man says until he does it”
“Eh Mus, you are white. Whites cannot lie” (He
actually believes this)
Me: “Pa, who do you love more, Fodie (his
wife) or Kootie (gf visiting)?”
Pa: “I love Fodie more. Ask me why.”
Me: “Why?”
Pa: “Because
she cleans my compound. That’s the only reason”
Me and Pa walking up to my school, which is on
a road they are developing:
Me:
“It’s so sad that they have torn down all of the trees”
Pa:
“Eh, white people like trees too much”
-
Me: “More money, more problems”
Pa: “I want those problems!”
My
friend Sidi, who lived in Boston for 25 years was over and heard Pa say he had
three wives at one time:
Sidi:
“3 wives, Mr. Kamara? How did you handle that?”
Pa:
“Eh, this is Africa. Men should have 20 wives”
I
often find Pa day dreaming on his veranda, sometimes when I ask him what he’s
doing he’ll say:
“I
am thinking of my three children. If I was to die, who would take over my
fortune?”
To
which I reply:
“Pa,
what fortune? And you have 18 children…not three”
Anytime
I say anything about his wife Fodie, I mean ANYTHING, such as “where is she?
Why doesn’t she feel well”, he will
reply with:
“Fodie
is 300 years old”
Talking
about the World Cup with Pa:
Me:
(wearing my American flag shirt) “Pa, America plays Germany today!”
Pa:
“Who will you support?”
Me:
“….Pa, America is playing and you ask me who I will support?”
Pa:
“Eh, a teacher knows what 1 + 1 is, but they still ask their students don’t they?”
Me
and Pa discussing his love for women being too much:
Pa:
“I have girlfriends all over. I have one in Makeni, one is Kailhaun…”
Me:
“Still? They’re not still your girlfriends. When is the last time you talked to
spoke to them?”
Pa:
“1987”
Me:
“Pa, that’s over 20 years ago! They’re not still your girlfriend if you haven’t
talked to them in over 20 years.”
Pa:
“Eh, when you have a boyfriend do you talk to them every day?”
Me:
“Pa, that’s not the same thing…”
Pa:
“Eh, if I have sexed with them it means they are my girlfriend until I die”
And
that ladies and gentlemen is all I have for you, unfortunately. As insane as
this man can be at some, no scratch that, most times, he has been almost the sole
thing keeping me sane and smiling through this whole experience. I have yet
decided if my weirdness will be from the things I have done and seen in this
experience or from not having this absurd person who I believe has become the
love of my life. For my parents and Peace Corps friends, I’m extremely grateful
you all got to experience this amazing person who has become one of the most
significant people in my life. For everyone else in the world, I really hope
you are all fortunate at some point in your life to take a trip to the village
of Bandajuma, located 30 miles South of Bo in the southern-most province of
Sierra Leone to meet its main attraction.
That's our Pa; gotta love 'im.
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